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When divorce meditation isn't appropriate

North Carolina couples who are ending their marriages may want to use mediation to resolve the issues surrounding their divorce and to avoid the investment of time and money that is sometimes necessary with litigation. However, there are certain indications that the process might not be suitable.

If either party has a significant amount of ill will for the other party, litigation may be necessary. Effective mediation requires that both parties be willing to listen to the other and compromise to come to agreeable resolutions. An extension of this is one party not wanting the other party to win, even if it means that both parties lose. Partners who are intent on make the other partner's life as difficult as possible will not be successful at mediation.

Individuals who cannot properly advocate on their own behalf will need an attorney. Going into mediation and not being able to stand up for one's own wishes can result in accepting settlement terms that can harmful for the individuals and their children. Marriages with a history of violence should not be resolved through mediation. Social science indicates that abusive partners are not inclined to empathize with the people that they abuse. It is highly unlikely that they will properly consider the other party's point of view about the relationship for mediation to work.

Litigation may also be a better option for individuals who want get a divorce as soon as possible. Mediation is not focused on speedy results, but rather taking the time necessary to hash through the applicable divorce legal issues. Another alternative, though, could be negotiations led by the couple's respective family law attorneys.

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